Saturday, July 27, 2013

A Meditative Silence

I've been rather quiet here, other than my celebrations of alcoholic strawberries (yay!). The divorce has been final for a couple months and summer is our busiest time at work, so between home and office I've been pretty frantic. Also, the South Jersey Writer's Group has completed a very successful Kickstarter campaign and we will be publishing not one but TWO more anthologies. One is yet to be named and the other will be Tall Tales and Short Stories from South Jersey Vol. II.

So I've been wrangling those ideas onto the page when I'm not working or lawn-mowing. My ex-husband was the king of the yard, so I never had to deal with spinning blades of death until now.

My son found this joke in his Boy's Life magazine:
Q: What is a perfect summer day?
A: The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the lawnmower is broken.

Today happens to be one of those perfect summer days. The lawn is already mowed and I am taking the day off for the beach. This is research as well, of course, as it's been a while since I experienced Ocean City. We've had a very rainy summer. Ginger's story is going to get written one of these days. I'm just not sure when or how.

This morning as I sat in bed drinking my coffee, in the peaceful quiet of my own house, I thought of how I can't stress out anymore about being the perfect mother, the perfect writer, the perfect employee, or the perfect neighbor whose lawn is always well-tended. God gave each of us a certain amount of physical and mental energy. There's only so much we can do. When I was younger, I could blaze through my Saturdays in a manic burst and get everything done. Now I need a nap. Sometimes two naps.

The amazing thing is... when things don't get done, the world doesn't fall apart the way I thought it would. That's partly because I have excellent bosses who know the workload is crazy and are willing to be flexible and even pitch in to help when necessary. Diane and Susan, I love you and I love working for you. It's also because without my ex, God bless him, every little tiny thing isn't a crisis any more.

God is blessing me, too. In little ways, every day I see His grace. There are things that need to change about our lives but I am able to trust the One who knows me best to help me make those changes. I'm waiting on His wisdom and insight.

I'm writing while I wait.

Have a lovely weekend!