Thursday, June 3, 2010

Dream Sequence Blogfest

Update:  My first scene is up at *Fiction Groupie* today for the Beta Club, so if you haven't had a chance to shred it yet, feel free to pop over there.  And, I just got back from seeing Robin Hood. I couldn't believe that they made another movie about the Robin Hood legend, but this one was very good. I thought it was a nice balance of action and character development, even though not entirely consistent (plotwise) with the other movies.  The score was really great, as was the acting. A "two thumbs up" from  me.
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I'm posting a little early for this one, hosted by Amalia at Good to Begin Well, since there is another blogfest happening in a few days.  I love a good, juicy dream sequence. So, here goes:



Marenya tossed restlessly on her bed. The right side of her face flamed so that she couldn’t bear to lay it on the pillow, and every joint in her body hurt so that she had to shift herself every few minutes. It occurred to her that she might have been poisoned. She was too weak to get up, or to call out. She wondered if she would die. After a long while, she lost all sense of the physical world and wandered deep in a terrible dream.

She was walking in a burning forest, one that was on fire from the inside. She saw no flames, but somehow she knew the trees were burning. She picked off a piece of bark. The underside was blackened like charcoal and the exposed trunk glowed red. She began to walk faster, looking for a way out of the forest, but everywhere she went more trees marched endlessly before her.

A hot wind blew, and the bark started to fall off the trunks here and there, so that the red cores were exposed to the air. Flames flickered up the trunks. The air grew warmer. Here and there a branch broke off and fell to the ground. Marenya began to run, tripping over roots and getting up again, desperate to escape. A large branch fell right in front of her and burst into flame, causing the hem of her skirt to catch fire. She beat the flames out with her hands, shaking with fear and weeping. Branches were crashing all around her now and the fire was leaping from tree to tree.

She knew in some corner of her mind that she was dreaming, and yet it was so real that when she held out her hands, she could see the fluid forming in the blisters on her palms. She looked wildly around for an escape: there was none. Then she sensed a menacing presence above her. Not one, but many. She looked up and could just make out the bat-like shapes circling above the smokey haze. The haggiths were gathering. They were coming.

A clear, strong voice called to her, one she didn’t recognize. She turned, looking for its source, and spied a tall, broad-shouldered hanor through the haze. She hurried towards him, but before she could reach him he turned and strode confidently through the trees as if he knew the way out. She followed him, and he glanced back over his shoulder now and then to see that she was still there. Branches crashed and burned behind them, but none blocked their way as he led her to a wide, open place where stars sprinkled the sky and the air was fresh.

He called her again, but he called her by the wrong name. At least, she thought it was. He was looking for Pelwyn. Was that her name?  She couldn’t remember. She looked over her shoulder at the flames that leapt up from the forest and the dark shapes circling above it, and then back at him. He held out his hand and she took it. His grip was firm and cool. He pulled her up and they began to float into the sky as if rising from deep water.

Marenya opened her eyes. The stranger from her dream was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her hand. It was day, or rather afternoon, judging by the rich, slanting light that spilled between the yellow curtains. She pulled her hand away, turned it over, and saw that there were no blisters on it.

22 comments:

  1. nice. i need to post mine early too. thanks for the reminder.

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  2. Confusing, but I suppose that's the point. I like the imagery of constant burning and searing.

    - Eric

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  3. I didn't want to make it too long. The poison she's been infected with is causing her to have nightmares.

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  4. Very visceral. The liquid in the blisters, the fear...all very urgent. Liked it.

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  5. I was squeezing my fingers so tight reading this I think I got blisters. Very intense.

    ........dhole

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  6. I agree with the other commenters, very visceral. To realize you're dreaming and still be unable to wake up is terrifying in and of itself. The burning makes it even more powerful. Nice work.

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  7. Definitely a scary dream! And I also agree with the "visceral" comment(s). I don't think I'd want to sleep after this one. ;)

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  8. Donna, you're funny.

    Wow, I didn't realize it was *that* scary. It's actually based on a recurring nightmare I had when I was a kid. I actually had so many nightmares that I learned how to wake myself up to make them stop.

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  9. Okay, I added the rest of that scene, so you can see how she gets out!

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  10. I really loved the images of the burning trees, with the bark like charcoal and the interiors glowing red. I also like the guy leading her out being the man on her bed, and that she checks for blisters when she wakes up. Nicely done!

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  11. The trees were burning from within? Nice touch. And don't dreams seem so real that when we awaken we sometimes expect their consequences to be in the waking world? Good job. Roland

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  12. Scary! Burning from within like she was. Your descriptions were intense.

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  13. I'm so glad you got the book and it cheered you up! Remember, it's the first novel I wrote, so it has some adverbs, some telling, and a lot of POV's. Hope you like it!

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  14. Wow. this is rather frightening..."she could see the fluid forming in the blisters on her palms"...great imagery!!!

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  15. Aubrie, if it has those flaws I will enjoy it all the more. I tend not to read much of other people's fantasy because it makes my WIP seem so dismal by comparison. So it will actually encourage me that there is hope yet.

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  16. Great imagery, visceral and intense. Great entry for the blogfest. :)

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  17. I forgot to post mine until late, but I'm glad I got to yours this imagery was stunning and the entire scene was just so intense, nice job!

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  18. Very nice. I loved that the trees were burning from the inside. Now I'm curious to find out who this man is.

    Nice job!

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  19. Nice!! Very vivid, I liked the part about the fluid in the blisters...

    <3 Kelsey Leigh

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  20. Nice job with the dream sequence. The imagery created from the dream is well done. Good details at the right moments to keep the scene moving.

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  21. I'm still getting back to Amalia's list, even though so much time has passed.

    I liked how--at least for me--the sense of touch was central to the dream. It was as if in the dream the usual hierarchy of the senses was changed.

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