 |
| "He sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." - Matt. 5:45 |
And don't forget that my 100 Followers Contest ends Friday, so please pass the word to gain additional entries for the prizes. Since we've already passed 100 I've decided to give away both the Starbuck's and Gevalia mugs. Thank you, thank you, thank you, one and all, for your help in spreading the word!
My entry is after the Mr. Linky code. If you just stumbled across this, it's not too late to join the fun!
=============================================
Here is my entry. Marenya is currently staying inside a giant tree. Because, as you know, I've always wanted to live inside a tree.=============================================
Marenya woke to grey twilight and the sound of rain. The others were still sleeping. She lay, warm and comfortable, watching drops fall from the leaves outside the window. Although only a few hours seemed to have passed, she felt as alert as if she had rested an entire night. It occurred to her that perhaps she had done so, and slept right through to the next day. It was impossible to tell. Something she couldn’t name pressed on her mind, making her feel that she must go up to the top of the tree. She tried to push the feeling aside, but the harder she tried, the stronger it grew. At last she got up. She wrapped the blanket around herself over the yellow robe. Then, creeping soundlessly on her bare feet, she tiptoed up the stairs and climbed onto the platform of branches above. The moist air hit her face and she raised her head to its coolness, eyes closed, drinking in the wonderful, rich smell of the forest. When she opened them, what she saw made her stop still.
There in front of her on a thick branch stood a gryphon. Its wings were folded and it was facing away from her, but even so, she could see the faint glow that shone from beneath its feathers, each of which looked as if it were made of purest gold. It was twice as tall as she, with sharp claws and pointed ears. It turned its head toward her, and she saw the curve of its gleaming beak and the depthless pools of its eyes. It was at the same time the most beautiful and the most fearsome thing she had ever beheld.
The gryphon turned on the branch so that she could see his full splendor. The raindrops caught the light that shone from him and glittered golden as they fell.
============================================
Very nice. As a kid I always climbed around in trees and tried to build forts in them. The only small confusion for me in this piece was in thinking that the higher part of the tree might be thinner, and this gryphon sounded very large. I suppose it must be a vast tree!
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece, the occasional slip from present tense (Marenya thought mode)to telling (narration)noticeable in last but one paragraph:
quote: "Its wings were folded and it was facing away from her, but even so, she could see the faint glow that shone from beneath its feathers, each of which looked as if it were made of purest gold."
See what I mean: It's wings folded it was facing away from her, but even so, she could see the faint glow that shone from beneath its feathers, as though made of purest gold.
best
F
Beautiful. I would love to see more description of the rain falling around the gryphon, my mind held onto that image.
ReplyDeleteVery cool idea. I'm interested and wonder what she is and why she's sleeping in a tree with others of her kind. Maybe an elf? Or a human girl lost in a fantasy world. You've opened a lot of doors there.
You seem to be fore-shadowing as special relationship between them. Well done!
ReplyDeleteSorry I didn't have a piece for this blogfest. Great job. I could feel the rain. The gryphon is interesting.Nice job!
ReplyDeleteShe lives in a tree? That is holy freaking awesome.
ReplyDeleteI love the extract. It's lovely.
Love the mixture of light and water images. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting the fest! I'm a late joiner and look forward to seeing the other entries.
This is beautiful. I love the quiet rainy morning, the sneaking out and especially the discovery. We tend to roll over and go back to sleep on rainy days and look what we would have missed if she had done the same. Your writing definitely drew me in. :)
ReplyDeletevery nice. i like this scene. nice idea for a blogfest.
ReplyDeleteI'll echo that this was a good idea for a blogfest! I stumbled in -- thankfully -- yesterday, otherwise I would've missed it! Girl, you gotta post something on my blog or email me when you're holding a blogfest!
ReplyDeleteI like the twist-turn of the passage. Expecting little jolts like that will keep me reading. Am I going to get to read/review the whole thing!?
- Eric
Very interesting. I love gryphons.
ReplyDeleteHow did I manage to miss that your fictional world contained gryphons?
ReplyDeleteThe descriptions were wonderful. the gryphon was a shock to me...lol wasn't expecting it. my favorite line : "The moist air hit her face and she raised her head to its coolness" I loved the way I could imagine it.
ReplyDeleteYou really did get the whole disoriented waking up thing and peace of morning thing down pat--until our MC comes face to beak with her visitor. What a effortless read.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for holding this blog fest. I was late getting to it but I am having a blast!
That was lovely Christine. Loved the tone, very well captured. And thanks for hosting!
ReplyDeleteNice description using the rain.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! I wish I was there too. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat scene, I love imaginary creatures (or maybe just creatures we haven't seen yet?). I, too, spent much time up in trees when I was little (still climb them on occasion), so I really like that bit!
ReplyDeleteThank you for hosting this great 'fest!!
Beautiful scene - I could see him up there, shining in the rain.
ReplyDeleteVery nice!
And thanks for hosting this awesome contest!
Your writing paints a wonderful picture. I have no doubt that it is a lazy day. The writing is easy and lyrical, so much so that I did not notice the little things said previously by others. Those things are easily fixed and it doesn't take away from your voice or from what you are asking my senses to feel, smell and imagine.
ReplyDeleteWonderful writing, wonderful idea for a blogfest.
Really lovely imagery, especially the rain and the gryphon (How cool is is to live in a tree and wake up to a gryphon???). The whole piece has a lyric fairytale quality. I'd love to read more.
ReplyDeleteThis has been a great blogfest, Christine. Thank you so much for hosting!
I've always wanted to live in a tree too! How coincidental!
ReplyDeleteLove the description of the gryphon, btw. The rain glittering golden as it falls is a fantastic image.
Thanks for hosting, good lady! :)
Cool - literally. The cold and mist made me long for her blanket.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind waking to a Gryphon - at a distance. Sharp beaks and claws and all that arrogance. My kind of being.
.......dhole
Christine - I swear I was already a follower of yours. I feel like a total doofus.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to sound like a parrot, but I love that she lives in a tree.
I used to climb really high up in my grandmothers tree and stay there for hours. Of course then I was too afraid to get myself down, so my dad would have to come and rescue me. Also, the description of the gryphon was amazing. I could see all everything in my mind. Great descriptions.
I didn't have a chance to participate in this one, but I love your entry.
ReplyDeleteI have, oddly enough, been wondering about the size of a gryphon of late. Your description (at least size-wise) matches what I had envisioned. :)
I don't know how I missed commenting on yours, when I'd made a point to comment on all the participants. I just didn't click it was under the list of names. LOL
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this is so beautifully written and I'm completely intrigued by why she felt she had to go up and the presence of the gryphon.
Thank you for hosting such a wonderful blogfest!
Looks like the blogfest had a great turnout. Thanks for hosting the event. I got my post up but it was late.
ReplyDeleteI like your description of the rain in the beginning. Well done.
I love the part of the Gryphon and the rain in the end....lovely.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting this blogfest! Sorry I'm popping by late--just got back home to London!
ReplyDeleteI loved the mention of the fresh cool smells of a rainy forest--and the gryphon was way cool!
This piece was an absolute delight... I just stumbled onto your blog, and am glad I did :)
ReplyDelete-Surendra