Saturday, August 14, 2010

Weather Blogfest

Hey, Everyone!  It's time for the Weather Blogfest, hosted by Nick at A Little Slice of Nothing.

And don't forget my Rainy Day Blogfest is happening this Wednesday! Wednesday, Aug. 25th.

I happen to like weather in fiction.  I don't think enough of us indoor-dwellers pay attention to what is happening outside our climate controlled environments. In my novel the characters are outside most of the time (except when they're underground) and so rain, snow, wind, etc. are a constant influence on their ability to Get Things Done.

This is a scene after a skirmish in the mountains. Faldur is trying to get an injured Marenya to safety.  She's unconscious on a makeshift stretcher.


“How far do you reckon we have to go?” asked Brilward, looking at the sky. It was early afternoon but the light was fading fast; a storm was coming.

“To the bottom." Faldur tone was harsher than he intended.

They started off, marching the prisoners ahead of them and carrying Marenya in turns. The wind turned bitter. Large flakes of snow began to swirl down and land on their clothes and hair. Faldur feared they would lose sight of the path if it began to accumulate. One of the prisoners admitted to knowing the way, and agreed to guide them.

By the time they reached the tree line, the snow was falling fast and thick, covering the ground in a slippery blanket. Faldur was worried about Marenya. Her lips were turning blue and he could barely detect her breathing. The trees were huge pines, weighted down with snow so that their lower branches created a kind of tent under which the company could find shelter from the cold. Faldur sent two soldiers ahead to find Lord Tarnbel. In his heart, he secretly wished for Rangers, but the soldiers were reliable fellows and would have to do. He only hoped they didn’t lose their way.

He chose a group of trees that were roughly in a circle together and divided up the hamen, directing them to take cover under them. They cast hiding spells over their locations, and set pairs of sentries up to watch. The snow which hindered them would also hide their tracks, and the cold air and pine sap would help mask their scent. They would be safe enough for the night.

Faldur laid Marenya on the thick bed of needles beneath one of the trees. He broke away the dead lower branches to make more room for the both of them. He didn’t dare start a fire for fear of setting the tree alight, but wrapped her in his cloak and lay down next to her. He arranged his body over hers so as to give her as much warmth as possible, wrapping her torso in his arms and pressing his face to her cheek. Without invitation, the lioness pushed through the branches and lay on Marenya’s other side. She placed her face very close to the hawin’s, seeming to want to warm her breath for her, and stayed that way, nose to nose, for a long time.  Finally, she lowered her head and slept.

Faldur, however, could not sleep.  He lay awake in the gathering darkness, listening to the moaning of the wind and the occasional rustle of snow falling through the branches. After a while he felt that his body had fallen dormant, but his mind was as clear and sharp as the night air.  The snow gradually stopped and the wind fell.  It became absolutely quiet, and absolutely dark.

Marenya was as still as death.  He closed his eyes and sought her. She was still there, but faintly.  A coldness seeped through him that was not from the ground.


  1. Oh, you have Faldur showing some very human, devoted emotion towards Marena. That doesn't happen often, does it? And the lioness; she's a special treat, to be so closely related to the Hamens?

    Wow; this was great Christine. The cold and snow was a definite character in this scene, but did not dominate it.

    I have a love-hate relationship with reading excerpts of this novel. I have read enough tidbits to want to read it; but not enough variety to know always what is going on.

    You did well, I think, to incorporate the weather into the scene without it being the focus.



  2. Hey Donna,
    You are one of the people I am writing for. I have intentionally not put much plot up, because I don't want to give the storyline away. I think between all of my posts here, at CIC and Christine's Cottage and FTQ, someone could steal the story and write an entire book in the time it takes me to edit 20K or so!
    I'm so glad you like it and I promise... when it gets into a form that is a) complete and b) coherent, you will be the first beta reader!!!
    Love you, Donna! You are so supportive and inspiring to me.

  3. This is my kind of story so far. I love fantasy foremost of all genres. I think there is one unnecessary line -- 'They would be safe enough for the night'. The sentences leading up to it say everything that is needed.

  4. Ooh, this is fabulous. Snow can set a scene in so many different ways, and you used it well. This is the kind of story I'd love to read in full!

  5. Thanks, Alison!
    Ted, good point.

  6. Hi,

    This scene embodies the essence of freezing conditions, yet as Donna mentioned not enough to swamp the writing beneath blanket of whiteness within words. I'm not a fantasy reader as such, but given that I'm reading fantasy snippets on blogfests I can honestly say the snips/samples that I've read I would if able pick up and continue reading.

    I can understand your worry regarding plagiarism, but snippets (disjointed) may inspire a fantasy writer though outcome could never be the same in entirety! After all, parts of JKR's novels mirror many others who went before her inclusive JRRT. It's a fact, we are influenced by what we see/read, and must endeavour to b as original as posible!


  7. This was very nicely written. Snow swept scenes are always fun to read. I would love to write one in my own writing but as most of my stories take place in and around the coastal Mediterranean, not sure I can work in snow.
    Pleasant read.

  8. Hey there: Just wanted to point out a few things, one thanks for sharing with us- I enjoyed the read. this is the second one I've read involving mountains :) yay!

    anyway in this line your missing a possessive "s" at the end of his name: "“To the bottom." Faldur tone was harsher than he intended. "

    Favorite line: "He lay awake in the gathering darkness, listening to the moaning of the wind and the occasional rustle of snow falling through the branches."

  9. Christine you have such a beautiful voice when you are a writing!!! I loved this blogfest, I'm finding so many wonderful new writers!

    PS I gave you a shout-out on my blog today!!!

    Reminder - Guess that Character Blogfest is this Thursday and Friday! Look forward to describing your character!

  10. I hope Marenya is all right!

    I loved this scene. So romantic. *sigh*

  11. ooo

    I like the ending a lot. When there are expeditions that take place, travels across lands then the weather is very important. Weather affects travel and each season has a special element that can affect such. Well done here.

  12. Lovely...

    Looking forward to the rain blogfest too!

    (and random comment- I think it is so cool you are a dollhouse enthusiast. someday I would love to have a real dollhouse with all the trimmings...)


  13. LOL I'll hold you to that beta read offer.


  14. That was lovely Christine. The conditions were so vividly described that I feel cold myself (note: it's warm where I am :) ).

  15. The snow creates such a false sense of peacefulness to this scene-- perfect for emphasizing a character on the edge of death and the fear of trying to keep them alive. I could see the trees and the snow piling up, bending the branches down around them.

  16. Only one word: AWARD!

  17. Thank you so much for the award, J.C.!

  18. Lovely! Snow is one of my favourite weather phenomenoms and you did it complete justice! ; )

    A very nice scene, and some great insight into Faldur's mind, too.

  19. i'm just now reading this. your writing voice and ablities have come a long way - not to say that they were bad before - but i think i remember reading an earlier version of this scene and now it really comes off the page. love the last line.

  20. Thanks, Michelle. You have been cursed with reading my stuff all through the tortuous journey!


I apologize for the word verification. I hate it, but the spammers made me do it.